Free dates, shaven legs: advantages & disadvantages to being a woman

I had a conversation yesterday with a couple esteemed male friends about the advantages and disadvantages to being a woman. Here’s what we came up:

Being a woman means
+ free dates, and no pressure dating. Woman don’t have to do any of the asking.
+ being treated like a lady. Men open our doors, give us first dibs on stuff, tell us we’re beautiful – you get the idea.
+less hair on our body. Apparently the guys thought this was an advantage. I’m not a guy, so I’m going to trust them on this one.

It also means

-it is assumed that we are automatically less athletic than any man. Reactions (directed at me, personally in the past 10 months) include
“we can’t have two girls next to each other (on the volleyball court)”
“Pheww, thank God the woman are separated…we can’t have two women on the SAME team”
::sees that I’m on his team and lets out a strangled moan::
-we have to shave our legs, armpits, and it is unacceptable to have hair anywhere on our face besides our eyebrows. This takes work.
-we are more catty with other women. We judge each other, we gossip about each other, we are easily jealous and oftentimes we straight up hate each other for stupid reasons.
-career-wise, we have to deal with the glass ceiling

I think the biggest disadvantage is our relationships with other women. It’s not uncommon for us to treat each other badly. I have to say it comes from our own insecurities about our looks, personality and our worth. Gossiping and judging are our tools for tearing each other down, but at the end of the day, we’re still stuck with our own body and our own fears to stare us in the face. And as a result, since we’ve been skeptical of everyone else, we apply those judgments to ourselves. We know that we aren’t perfect either and so we start to hate ourselves. Our lives become about who has the tightest stomach and the best nose. If we can start to understand and accept other women as beautiful, we will care less about the ways we judged ourselves because we will set a new standard.

Women, don’t get wrapped up in things that don’t matter. Let’s learn to love each other and lift each other up and we can create a whole new perspective on beauty and our own self-worth, that is not be based on looks.

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3 responses to “Free dates, shaven legs: advantages & disadvantages to being a woman

  1. I always like your perspective Angela – thanks for writing!

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